Vote NO on 1

So I recently had an interesting conversation with a woman who's views on question 1 weren't the same as mine. Not all that out of the ordinary except this woman has many gay friends and is very gay friendly. when asked why she was going to vote yes on 1 she said it was because she has a small child, 7 I think, that she doesn't want to have to explain gay sex to, gay marriage to, or the gay lifestyle to because it was "taught" to her in school. this poses a very interesting question to me. Do all straight people with kids think that this referrendum question is solely based on our desire to have "gay-ism" taught in schools? I have seen all the commercials regarding the opposition. They claim that this will happen, that kids will be taught gay marriage in schools, but seriously, think about it...is straight marriage taught in school? I went to school...alot....and I don't remember one single class in all my schooling that the teacher once said "now class, today we are going to talk about straight marriage..." I was never taught what it was, i was never asked to role play or take a test on the fundamentals. Now unless school has changed THAT much...and I mean more than just the weird math they do now...why would anyone think that gay marriage would be taught? I am asking for, as a part of a gay couple and an active "mo", the same legal rights as a part of a couple as straight people have. The ability to claim "married" on my tax return, the acknowlegement of being a part of a sacred union in the eyes of the state I live in and love (my union may not be sacred to others, but it is sacred to me), in the event of illness I want to be recognized as the legal next of kin to my wife and not be forced out of the hospital room because our union isn't recognized by the state. I am asking for the "straights" of this state to sit down and think about all the things being married is to them, what it affords them, what it means to them, and realize that all those things should be true for ALL couples who choose to wed.

Love is love and you don't have to understand it to realize that you don't have the right to tell me how love should be defined just because you don't agree with how I define it.

What??? A Blog???

So I haven't blogged since like March...not because I haven't had much to blog about - trust me, I have...I just sometimes go through times where I don't want to rehash anything - it's bad enough to have to verbalize it to people who ask questions but to actually type out in words how I'm feeling or what I'm going through...well, let's just say I'd rather suck shit through a straw then do that...I know I could blog about the weather or the little old lady who cut me off on the highway, but sometimes that stuff is just too trivial to type when the real stuff gets too heavy to carry. Anyway, I'm here, I'm blogging, get use to it :)

The most exciting thing going on in my life is the move to our new house. My wife's sister is married to a man who has a ton of land. Some of that land he is making into Mobile Home lots about an acre and a half big - actually VERY large as mobile home lots go. Anyway, we heard that he was going to be renting the mobile, maybe selling it and just renting the lot and we jumped on it. Our goal has always been for us to move to Hartford - back to Hartford for my wife since she was living there when I met her. It's peaceful, quiet, serene, and in the country...she could hunt from our back porch kind of country. Perfect. So this opportunity came up and we grabbed it. We're buying the mobile ( I call it a trailer since it had wheels but that annoys my wife...ok I still call it a trailer from time to time just to irritate...who could resist???) over the next 6 years and at the end of all that we'll own it.

Very exciting! Included in the "mortgage" is the lot rent - I say "mortgage" because we are buying it from Bo's sis and brother in law - not through a bank but owner financed...since we have shitty credit this is also perfect...all in all the whole situation is absolutely grand and couldn't have worked out better had we planned it. We figure in the winter we'll be saving about $700.00 a month in regular utilities and heat (our current house that we are renting is a bitch to heat, it's old and drafty as hell and no wood stove to help with the cost of fuel oil to heat it) - and with the mobile being smaller (we rent a 4 bedroom house that has two floors, a basement and an attic...the thing is huge for the two of us) it will be more economical and yet comfortable for us to live in. It's a 3 bedroom, 2 full bath mobile so it's actually quite large...the rooms are fairly small but with it being just Bo and I and four cats it's big enough. Anyway - so we've been hoping to move in for about three months now, waiting and waiting for Bo's brother in law to finish the lot and move the mobile onto it and yesterday we saw it - it was on the slab, all level and looking absolutely gorgeous. We can start moving our stuff in now - he's even said there are stairs!! No more ladders which I do not do since I'm petrified of heights...can't even stand on a chair kids!! So at some point today we're loading up the Jimmy and taking as many boxes as we can over to start cleaning and unpacking. I can't wait!!! There is no water or electricity yet so our cleaning ability will be hindered a bit - but we can start and that is what matters. I need to feel like we're making progress and right now I feel like I'll be living out of boxes for the rest of my life so I'll take what I can get and I'll be thrilled!

The end of March - the end of an era?

It's been well over a month, infact almost two, since I last blogged. Where has the time gone? So much has happened in my life in just 7 short weeks. So much of those 7 short weeks seem like an eternity.

Life has gone back to normal for the most part - with big fat changes in between normal peaks and valleys. I don't want to be so cryptic here, however I don't feel I can write about another's journey and be completely forthcoming - let me just say this - the future is bright. It's got a long winding road through it - but it is bright and will only get brighter as we cover this bumpy, sometimes rutted road to our future. Big changes are happening -- they are small in steps but simply HUGE in results and I am excited about this. I am more excited about this than I have been about anything in a very long time. The pride I have - the feeling of awe and amazement - the bravery it takes to make changes like this...I am speechless... and we all know that hardly ever happens!

I love you baby. I am here for you through out this journey with love and support and clapping hands!

As for me personally...well, I'm still on my journey - I'm learning more and more every day and I'm finding pieces of my unfinished puzzle along the way. It's exciting.

I'm feeling like I've lost touch with a few people along this little journey...I don't want that. I'm making it my mission to not get so involved with my journey that I forget those that I love and who mean the world to me. I vow to do better. I know life gets busy and sometimes it's not as easy to connect as others, however this reason doesn't satisfy me. I will not lose touch again...life is too short and these people mean way too much.

The eyes of love

There is nothing quite like looking into the eyes of the person you love more than anything in the world and seeing the love they have for you. I spent a few brief but beautiful moments alone with my wife last night, listening to the old country music of the '70's and singing and laughing, and feeling the love she has for me...actually feeling it. Times being what they are, these times when we can stop, listen to eachother breathe and enjoy the comfort of having the other person in your arms...it was one of the best nights of my life. She is everything.

Self-Discovery

A peeping Tom's vision into my life right now would consist of mainly Self-Discovery. The beauty of self-discovery is that it's like having your eyes closed for 12 hours, completely dark...then suddenly opening them in the bright August sunlight with no sunglasses to aid you. It's amazing and it makes you feel like running around and telling everyone around you all that you've discovered about yourself, every minute detail - like you are just meeting yourself for the first time...and yet the reality of self-discovery is that it's all internal - it's "self" discovery and it means nothing to anyone but you. It's only you who can see all the changes these discoveries begin and all the baggage that the discoveries help you unpack and finally put away for good.

So much to say to you, and yet I can't because it won't make sense unless and until we are put to the test...then you will see and understand. Then it can be appreciated.

soon.

ahhh the 1 am thoughts

I am new to this - I've followed my cousin and her hubby's blogs for a few months now...I find it interesting. I have no idea what in my life is so interesting that I'll feel the need to blog, but you never know...stranger things have happened.

For now, let me just say that I'm a daughter, I'm a sister, I'm a wife, I'm a cousin, I'm a friend...and those are only a few titles I own. I'm on this rollercoaster of drama and wonder and amazement and fear...and this is only the beginning. Life is crazy on it's slowest most relaxing day. I'm feeling dizzy...I don't want to get off the ride, but I'm anxious for it to end. It's starting to take over my life, my feelings and my head, it's a slippery slope. I'm scared of sliding so far to the wrong side that I can't get back. I'm still undecided as to what I need to do. I know what others say. I know others think I'm completely off my nut to keep this up. I say the alternative is too painful to even think about, let alone actually do...Others don't see you the way I do. Others don't remember all the special moments I once took for granted and now would give anything to have back.

I am getting motion sick...and I don't like it.